I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
