I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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