Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
