I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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