Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
