why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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