Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
