Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
