Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
