Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
