so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
