so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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