it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize