If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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