This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
