I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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