Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
