If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
