There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
