So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Houston, we have a blender
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
