Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
