I can't breathe out the right side of my face
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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