Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
