oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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