Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize