hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
