So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
