Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
