Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So vagazzling was a success
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