Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
