Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
