that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
