I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
mondays should just be called national damage control day
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize