Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
