Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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