I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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