yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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