(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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