Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
