where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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