I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
