My boss' voice literally gives me gas
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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