this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
