Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
