just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
