just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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