Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Someone came in the potted fern
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
