I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
