"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
