I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
