I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
