I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
