Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
