Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize