I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
