ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
