You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
