I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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