Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize