It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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