3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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