I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
