I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
