from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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