Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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