you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
