i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
