He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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